Help me
by Gerao-A
Summary: Xellos wants Filia to like him, so he asks advises to Lina. XF


_Help Me!_

Alandra: This is our new Slayers fic A comical one...

Maliska:...and romantic.

Alandra: But this time this story is made by me, Sunny, and Maliska. We didn't want Ramon seriousness, Air Jays hentai thoughts, and Kiko bossing us around

Sunny: and has you all know the Slayers series does not belong to us.

* * *

It was a fine sunny day.

And the Slayers gang was resting on an inn, doing what they do best.

Eating.

Lina and Gourry were eating uncountable plates of chicken, Amelia and Zelgadiss were peacefully drinking tea, and Filia was reading a good book.

There was peace for a moment, when someone appears. Xellos. " Hello Everyone!"

But to Xellos surprise they were still eating, or more likely, they were ignoring him. "Hello, Guys! It's me! Xellos!"

"Yeah, we know." Said Lina still eating her chicken.

"Probably to bug us again." Said Gourry trying to steal Lina's chicken.

"Like always." Added Filia still reading her book.

"So we got so use of you coming around like this." Said Amelia.

"Now is no big deal." Said Zel drinking his tea.

Xellos jaw feel to the ground, he always like to annoy these characters, which it had become a hobby. But he didn't come for that, he walked next to Lina who was eating peacefully. "Lina-san, can I talk to you?"

" No."

"But Lina-san, its important."

"No."

"The fate of the world is in it!"

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

"Pleeeeease."

"No."

"I'll buy you some ice-cream."

" No."

Xellos was starting to feel sick about Lina's _no_, so, it is time to try blackmail, and so he starts to whisper to Lina's ear. " I'll tell every one what you and Gourry been doing in his room at night!"

That of course made Lina blushed so hard that her face was the exact color of her hair. Now she has no choice but to listen of what Xellos want, she didn't want anyone to find out of her _visits_ to Gourry. " Alright Xellos, what do you want?"

" Lets talk outside!" said Xellos pointing outside.

" Alright, lets go!" Lina gets up and points at Gourry "**And You**, touch my food and there will be a Dragon Slave whit your name on it!"

Gourry gulped "Yes sir!"

_Once out side_

"So what do you want Xellos?" asked Lina.

Xellos was in silence for a moment before he starts to speak." Well...its like this. Its Filia!"

" Filia!" this amazed Lina, what could Xellos possibly want with Filia.

"Yes, yes, I know, my kind and her's have always been enemies, but still, she has a pretty face, and she is cute." Said Xellos with a smile.

"I don't believe it, he is in love with Filia!" Thought Lina.

"And... I would like to pass some time with her, but she always hits me with that mace of her." Xellos lands on his knees, crying "WHAT SHOULD I DO LINA? I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVISE! Maybe you can talk to her!"

Lina had her mouth wide open because of Xellos words " Man, Xellos, I'm stunted!"

" Because of my tears? Don't be. Big strong Mazokus also cry." Said Xellos, trying to act like a victim

"Not that! I always thought that you were gay.

Xellos fall to the ground. " WHAAAAAT! I'M NOT GAY!"

" Well you sure look like one.

"Oh, shut up!" murmured Xellos, very low

Lina thought fro a moment before speaking. "Well Xellos, has for your problem there is always one thing you can do!"

" Really? What is it?" asked Xellos, all excited.

"You have to be nice to her!"

Xellos almost turned white" WHAT!"

" Filia Hits you a lot because you are always annoying her, so you must start to say nice things, and act like a gentlemen to Filia."

" NOOOO!" cried Xellos landing on his knees ,crying again. "NOT THAT, ANYTHING BUT THAT! I BEG YOU! DON'T TAKE MY PLEASURE AWAY FROM ME!"

Lina sweat dropped and starts to walk away "That's the best thing you can do Xellos, like it our not. Gourry is a gentleman, you could learn something from him."

Xellos was still on his knees, thinking about all that Lina said.

_On the next day._

The Slayers Gang were still in the same inn, ready to eat all the food that was left when Xellos appear again. " Greetings you all!"

And of course they ignore him again, but he didn't care this, he walked to Filia and kneeled in front of her. " Filia- San!"

"What do you want, you asshole!" replied Filia, with angry eyes, wondering what Xellos wants with her.

Xellos didn't say anything, he just got out a ring, and put it on her finger. "I hope, that you accept this ring from me."

Filia was blushing hard, and every one else was stunted, not believing what they have just saw.

"Huh? A ring?" asked Gourry, very confused.

Zel spited his tea. "That was a proposal?"

"When the heck did this happened?" asked a very surprised Amelia

"Damn, I never thought that Xellos would want to go this far!" thought Lina, surprised as well.

Filia could not believe it, this man, a mazoku was asking her hand in marriage, she could imagine what her life might be, with this man, but still...

Xellos is still in one knee and holding Filias hand "Yes, my love, I love. I love even if you are flat chested..."

"**WHAT?**" shouted Filia, lifting her skirt and getting her mace, and hits Xellos face so hard, that made a big hole in the inns wall, when Xellos hit it.

Filia was walking to Xellos, with an angry aura in her. "YOU! This was another one of your pranks! You wanted me angry...you got it!"

"No wait! It isn't a prank! I swear!" but Xellos starts to run away.

Filia runs after him "Stand still so I can kill you!"

The others were just looking at Xellos and Filia in that big hole that Filia had made by hitting Xellos.

"What was that all about?" asked Gourry.

"How should I know? We are talking about a guy named Xellos." Responded Zelgadiss.

Xellos's still running away from a very angry Filia. "_Gourry is a gentlemen, you could learn something from him_, Yeah right! I practiced all night, I even went to Gourrys room and hided under his bed when Lina had _visited_ him, and hear every word he said! Why doesn't work with me? Well, look at the bright side! At can go back on annoying Filia some more.

_The end_


End file.
